Okay, so when I’m not feeling the best it’s sometimes good for me to move around a bit, maybe to gently do things. I mean digging ditches is out, but a bit of cleaning up or cooking or something is really a good idea. Funny to have that as a motivation. But you can only tidy so much before you’re into something unhealthy. And I’ve had feeling lousy chase me around the room for a while, it’s no fun. What’s nice is it turns out that playing the bass is really good for me. Someone asked me once if it was the low frequencies up close and personal. I figured no it was the standing up and moving around without a break for a decent stretch of time. But because I’m not built like a bass player I can only do so much after which whatever conditioning I’ve got just isn’t enough. So okay, sometimes it’s about moving around and making some food. And happily it’s considered a good thing that I do this, so I don’t have to enter into a kitchen encounter with any weird baggage. My job is to enjoy making something, and to eat it. Alright there have been times when either or both of those were mission impossible, but apparently today is not one of those days. So I figure next time there’s a potluck I’d like to make a particular tart recipe I used to know quite well. Except it’s been a while, and over the years I’ve been around way too much other people’s stress to think that doing it without practice is a good idea. So I get to it. And it works, fair enough. I’ve cleaned up and everything’s looking fine, and I made the smallest batch I could, so there’s a dozen sitting there on the rack. Well, actually there’s nine sitting there on the rack. I forget that I’m perfectly capable of finishing off the lot. Yes tonight. No big deal not to, I’ll enjoy them over the next few days, maybe take a few to a friend. And as it turned out it was good to do, the hot oven was a little too hot, so a little lower than the recipe says for a little longer and both pastry and cake will benefit. But yeah, I think if I’m going to do this more often I’m gonna have to switch to making bread.
One other nice thing that comes out of feeling not the best but not the worst is I spend a little more time on my instruments. I think it’s because I can’t dash off to do something more useful, or do much real work of any kind, but I’m okay enough to get really tired of being horizontal, and there’s only so much sittin’ in a meditative posture this poor boy can stand. So I sit down at my harp. It’s something that’s at least vaguely productive. At least that’s what gets me there. Once I’m there I remember that the mental place I’m in when I’m working on music is a place I’ve spent years in, and it is in fact deeply meditative. And very, very good for me. It’s funny that I’ve never asked myself why I can sit and meditate so easily, often in the oddest places, even though I don’t practice it in any regular fashion. It’s most likely because that’s kinda where I work. I have no idea whether other musicians are like that, but it’s sure how it works for me.
So it’s funny, a half hour on the harp and while my body may not feel the best I’m sure in better shape to accept it. And frankly in that half hour I’ve walked through a lot of what some people would call prayerful attitudes, and a bunch of reminders that being tight is not helping and I don’t want to end up in a wrist brace again so relax, and some thoughts about why that phrase isn’t easier than it turns out, and some reminders of the chores that need doing, and even a bit of time in the zone. Which sounds to my ear like a pretty normal meditation. I sure get the same benefits. And I guess maybe that’s where that focus comes from, that fellow players tell me they see in me when I’m on stage. Of course what I don’t tell anyone is that it’s more likely that the monitors are so bad I can’t hear a thing so I’m having to concentrate real hard to figure out where the beat really is. But I don’t want to spoil the magic for anyone, so I guess we’ll call it focus. In the meantime it is nice to be able to take a little more time when I’m not feeling well and turn it to good use. And yeah, feel better for doing it.
Although I must admit I’m still a little confused about how something like fifteen years of mostly not playing the harp meant that I could sit down and play any melody I’d written. No, I couldn’t do that before. No, I have no idea why. And yes, it somehow reminds me about the guy asking his doctor if he’ll be able to play the piano.
Only it doesn’t turn out like you think.